Hi, I’m Jen and I am a people pleaser. I’ve said “yes” to too many things I should have said no to. Yet, every time I say no to something, I find myself feeling guilty and playing the “what if” game. Why is it that saying no is so hard?
When new opportunities arise, I have learned to stop and listen. It’s easy to get excited over the new opportunity and immediately commit, without thinking it through. Here are some things I consider before I say yes or no:
1. First, pause. There are rarely decisions over opportunities in our careers that require immediate action. Pausing allows us to listen, take a step back and evaluate. Our intuition is powerful, listen to it. Depending on the opportunity, I may pause for a few minutes or I may pause for several days to think it all through.
2. Realize I may disappoint someone. This is a tough one because if you are a people pleaser, you never want to disappoint anyone! This one comes down to knowing your values. Before knowing my values, I believe I disappointed my family with my tendency to overcommit. Being too busy, coming home too late, missing out on events. Now, because I know my values and I match those values to the opportunities that arise.
3. Recognize that there will be more opportunities down the road. A “no” doesn’t mean never and a “yes” doesn’t mean forever.
4. Saying “yes” to something, means saying “no” to something else. We pick our yes’s and our no’s every day. What’s making it to the top of your priority list?
I’m a recovering people pleaser and it still is a daily challenge to make some decisions. But with each decision, I find it a little more doable when I keep these tips in mind. I hope your decisions are too!!
Tip of the Month: August 2014
Jen Haugen, RDN, LD As a mom, Down-to-Earth Dietitian and farmer’s daughter, Jen Haugen, RDN, LD, loves to help moms nourish their families with food and faith. As a writer, television personality and speaker, Jen believes that moms really can change the world, starting right in their own homes. She recently presented a TEDx talk on “How Moms Can Change the World”, and even more recently transitioned from full-time retail dietitian to part-time school dietitian so she can more fully live her values by spending more time cooking and gardening with her family and working with food companies that value family too. Find her at www.jenhaugen.com and @jenhaugen.